I have found myself in a position of feeling lost and vulnerable; endlessly falling without the comfort of the ground finding my body to collide with. I'm breathing and eating and thinking and dreaming, but functioning is not yet a description I'd like to throw around with such ease. My eyes over-glazed and mind bursting from thoughts too fast, ferocious and yet unbearably casual. Pain is a funny kind of thing; when you can't quite find where it hurts or where to stem the bleed, but somehow you know that you are losing more than if it were really your blood that slowly seeped.
Change is upon me.
Change is good and grand and nothing less than a necessity to move a person in a forwardly direction, but what about when it doesn't pre-warn? When it scuttles beneath your toes and you can't do anything but to trip upon every move it makes beyond your control. I wasn't and am not ready for change. I have asked it nicely for a latter reprise, a breather or to at the very least employ simple empathy. It, however, can not and I cannot entertain nor endure it. But despite everything, I have to and am and continually will.
Self portraits from a studio project I worked on at university.
Leotard | (Plume) DANCE DIRECT
I felt these images of myself, that I shot during the first time I stepped foot entirely alone into one of the studios at university, were more than a fitting description of the phase I am currently emotionally forced to endure.
Having not had the confidence to share the work I painstakingly produce for my course, now felt as good a time as any to 'put them out there' as it were and to share with at the least all of you.
This project existed in order to allow us, as first years, to become acquainted and comfortable within the vast space of a studio where there was also an assignment requirement that deemed both working in groups and solo. I established early on what it was that I wanted to become consumed with, in terms of cognitive process, and the bulk of the work was based around nothing more extravagant then that of feeling entire vulnerability (although I did meander through the act of looking and being looked upon, as well as identity during the 4 weeks we were allowed). I was reasonably pleased with the stage I got to, although a couple of idea developments have made themselves known from it that I'd like to follow up at a latter date if and when time allows.
A fellow student and classmate of mine, wrote a lovely review of my work focusing on a string of side images from this project that conveyed a personal look at something very dear to me whilst still following in theme and aesthetic as these, over on her blog: Falmouth Arts People. I would love for you all to go have a read, as she has and will be continuing to review some really interesting things from art based students across the courses at my university and I for one am enjoying seeing what each post unfolds!